Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
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Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 21, 2004 16:00:15 GMT -5
Thorin Ruins Relations With The South Pacific[/b]  Thorin interrupting the wedding between TSP delegate The Shaft and former delegate Lady RebelsRegional Presbyterian Church, The South Pacific: In shocking turn of events, a marriage that was to bring peace and stability to a region was wrecked by a Pacifican. The marriage, between The Shaft and LadyRebels, was intended to unite the houses of Lancaster and York. Unfortunately for the populace, love ruined their chance at peace and happiness. During the ceremony, Warrior Thorin, long to have been known to have an illicit affair with LadyRebels, appeared at the church. Yelling through the glass, the Queen called back to him, and they escaped the throngs of people onto a bus. Many people wondered as to what would cause the Queen to abandon her fiancé on the alter. Most Pacificans assume it was Thorin’s vigor, because “Once you’ve had NPO, it’s the only way you’ll go.” Others believe that the political pressures of a forced marriage were too much for her delicate southern soul to bear. This “white rose” would not be crushed and consumed by the “red rose.”  Thorin and LadyRebels first “encounter” at the South Pacific EmbassyAs such, the South Pacific delegation has lodged a formal complaint, and is threatening invasion if the Pacific does not return LadyRebels. The Shaft has states “We have one thousand ships ready to set sail if the Queen is not returned!” The Pacific, no stranger to invasion, is ready to do what is necessary to defend the sovereignty of the region and the amnesty of LadyRebels. If LadyRebels is not returned by the 28th, the UDP is expected to be invoked, and another Pacific war may be on our hands. ------------- relevent link
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
|
Post by Sir Paul on Aug 22, 2004 18:38:07 GMT -5
The East Pacific Allies With the NPO[/b]  Nem, NPA General, reacts to the newsOblong Office, The East Pacific: With the flick of his pen, The NPO grew, and the ADN had a new enemy. Delegate and General Secretary of the East Pacific, 1 infinite loop, signed legislation officially allying itself with the New Pacific Order. As such, the government of the East Pacific shall be known as the Newer Pacific Order. While there was rejoicing on the streets of both capitals, many subversives were saddened by the news. Delegate Unlimited viewed this as an important moral victory for the NPO. “We have always had the issue of legitimacy and marginalization. Our enemies have tried to isolate us by isolating our allies. The more regions that join us and our cause, the more courage others will have when standing up against diplomatic embargos.” Both leaders are excited about the prospect of having stronger ties. Should any be invaded, the other will come to their aid. Some are postulating that this is a reactionary alliance to the UDP. The Hall of Justice will be the place where all members of the alliance can meet, exchange cheese, and work out the best way to protect the Pacifics from the Legion of Doom. To show that these two regions are really friendly, the new alliance members shall be known as the SuperFriends!  Hall of Justice, in the border city of Newer YorkThe Tabloid Tribune is the first news agency to bring you this news, and has the following pictures of the SuperFriends.  The SuperFriends:
Top Row (left to right): Unlimited, Moldavi, Mammothstan and Black Adder.
Bottom row: The Shaft and LadyRebels, RedCommunist and Loop, Thorin and LadyRebels.Three cheers to the Superfriends, the NPO, and the East Pacific!
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
|
Post by Sir Paul on Aug 23, 2004 20:52:29 GMT -5
Who’s a Bigger Nazi?[/b]  The ADN, Hitler, or the NPO?NS Forums, Nationstates: When in everyday conversation regarding international politics, the subject of who is a bigger Nazi inevitably comes up. Therefore, the Tabloid Tribune is going to attempt to settle the issue once and for all with a definitive checklist of Nazi-style actions. Now, we will see who is the biggest Nazi: Pope Hope and the ADN, Hilter and the National Socialist Party, or Unlimited and the NPO. You view the list and decide for yourself. Nazi-Like Action….……..............ADN….Hitler…...NPO Invaded Poland………................Yes……Yes…...…No Invaded Ireland……..................Yes……No…....…No Invaded USSR………..…...........….Yes……Yes….....No Made France Surrender…........….Yes…..Yes…...Yes Uses Propaganda……………..........Yes…..Yes….…Yes Silences Criticism of Gvmt.........Yes..…Yes…..…No Invaded Neutral Nations…........…Yes…..Yes….….No Killed millions…………..........….......No…....Yes….….No Has blond hair, Blue eyes….........Yes…...No….…..No Expects membership in Org after “liberation”…….........….Yes..…Yes…....No Have Purity Proposals….........….. Yes…..Yes…....No Ignores Peace Talks………...........Yes……No…..…No Has Cabaret Singers……..........…No……..Yes...…Yes Uses legitimacy to justify war....Yes…..Yes…....No Total……………….................………11……….10…..…..3 DISCLAIMER: The NPO and authors do not actually believe the ADN, Pope Hope, Unlimited, the NPO, or Hitler were actually Nazis. Wait, he was, but no one else is. We did this because it seemed funny at the time, since everyone says everyone else are Nazis, but now, after reading it, it's just offensive. But I'm not going to throw away my evening writing this horse $h!t and not publish it, so you'll just have to bear down, read this highly offensive piece of trash, reflect, and think that you've learned something.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
|
Post by Sir Paul on Aug 24, 2004 17:30:03 GMT -5
Pope vs Pope: ADN Invades Vatican The Ruins of Monte Cassino, key defensive abbey on the route to Vatican CityVatican City, the Vatican: Catholics the world over are praying as the ADN attempts to liberate them from the despotic regime known as Catholicism. Alliance forces have landed in southern Italy and are marching north. They have already gone through the strategic town of Cassino, and destroyed St. Benedicts Fortress Monastery. When asked why the Vatican had to go, ADN director Pope Hope had the following to say: “The leader of the Catholic Church is elected, but by an oligarchy of Cardinals appointed by the Pope. There is no freedom in Vatican City, and we intend to free the nuns, priests, and parishioners and end this despotic, evil regime.” While most Catholics agree that they don’t have democracy, most are content with the setup of their church. St. Bartholomew states that “If I’m not happy with the Catholic Church, I could always simply go to a different church with democracy, like Southern Baptists, or Voodoo.” ADN officials insist that this is simply Catholic propaganda. “Millions of people are born into the church and don’t know that there is a whole world of religious freedom out there. Thus, we must take the Vatican by force!”  Pope John Paul III, praying for his peoplePope John Paul III has said that his army is protected by the armor of God, and that the Vatican would never fall. He encouraged all Catholics of the world to pray for guidance and strength during this invasion. However, barring divine intervention, the ADN will most likely end this despotic regime and bring democracy to the Catholic Church. The post war Vatican will have Ananke as Pope until elections can be held to determine who the new pope will be. Martin Luther, head of the opposition and banned from the Vatican, is expected to be made new Pope.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
|
Post by Sir Paul on Aug 25, 2004 9:46:48 GMT -5
NBC shuts down: Tabloid Tribune #1 News Source Left[/b]  The dream is overNBC, The North Pacific: Today, Brock Smith did his last broadcast. Nationstates Broadcasting Corporation, the last unbiased source of news, has ceased to exist. Franken announced that NBC will now be a Nationstates museum, dedicated to the events occurring between May 25th to August 17th. Brock blamed all sides of the conflict, from the NPO to the ADN. “To those who couldn’t accept that someone might genuinely want to do a good thing I say: your cynicism from has led to this.” All Brock wanted to do was to make a good news site, and he tried my hardest. He was under criticism for spelling and grammar mistakes (watch it Sarda or I’ll quit too). He was also tired of the spies trying to penetrate his organization and the constant acquisitions of IP harvesting. He felt that this was too much work for him, and summarily quit. It was noted by Wilkshire that “The fact that [he was] accused of bias from both sides means that [Franken] must have got the balance just about right.” Despite his connections to the NP, everyone seemed to agree that he stayed neutral as best as any human could be expected too. With the death of NBC, NetWorkRadio and SeattleNews, there are currently no active news organizations left that aren’t linked to an interest group, but never fear. PNN, the Pacific News Network, would like to announce that it has struck a deal with TSP, and PNN will become a Pan-Pacific News Agency. It will have a legitimate non-biased news organization (the Pacific Press) along with independent tabloids in it’s member regions to continue the fine lampooning tradition. These presses will be (assuming all Pacifics become affiliated with PNN) The Pacific Tabloid Tribune, The South Pacific Scandal Sheets, the East Pacific Revealing Rag, The North Pacific Amazing Almanac, and The West Pacific Hot Sex Weekly. If you have web skills or wish to be a reporter for the Pacific Press or your local region’s tabloid, please contact Sir Paul via PM or AIM.
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