Unistrut
Liege
Consul Of The Meritocracy
Posts: 21
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Post by Unistrut on Jun 8, 2004 13:11:29 GMT -5
CrazyGirl's Hamster Kidnapped![/color] Meritocrat suspectedMeritocratic Administrative District, The Meritocracy- In a stunning development today, the Unistrut First Consul Marcus Cato announced that special operators from the 125th Update Watcher Regiment had taken possession of CrazyGirl's mascot, a cuddly hamster that the troopers have nicknamed "Spammy". CrazyGirl immediately demanded the return of the hamster, and threatened invasion by hundereds of her puppet states if her demands were not met. Cato was said to have simply replied, "Bring it" and disconnected his phone for an evening of hamster torture and whiskey.
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Post by SardaASSK on Jul 3, 2004 1:33:08 GMT -5
You Unistrut-y scum!
*weeps*
Set her hamster free!
*Chants civil rights songs about hamster oppression*
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Jul 10, 2004 21:05:45 GMT -5
Sir Paul destroys alter ego UPS Rail [/b] img27.exs.cx/img27/7529/fatherchristmas002.jpg [/img] UPS Rail (left) and Sir Paul (right) meet at a historic retaining wallEast Bakersfield, Real Life: In a shocking turn of events, Sir Paul has faced his split-personality disorder head on and met the infamous UPS Rail. Psychologist find this disturbing, because it is unusual for a psychotic image to physically manifest itself in the real world. The original personality was Sir Paul, but his guilt for leaving the toilet seat up manifested itself as UPS Rail. Their conflicting personalities are documented below… Sir Paul: Senator of the New Pacific Order and Director of the Pacific Press. Sir Paul is a geologist from Bakersfield (as noted by the roustabout beard) and is known for his tongue-in-cheek tabloids. UPS Rail: Former Delegate of the North Pacific. Having helped build the North Pacific infrastructure, UPS Rail then ejected several nations, and attempted to become a senator of the NPO. His plan was to get access to secret NPO documents and drum up world wide anger against the isolationist NPO. Unfortunately for UPS Rail, his bid failed. His days of inactivity were his way of allowing his fellow NP allies garner endorsements unmolested and without suspicion from the NPO. After the delegacy was re-taken and with NPO classified documents in hand, the ADN would push on to recapture the Pacific. Unfortunately for UPS, Franco was able to sniff out the plot and denied him access to the boards. Hated at home for his unilateral action and not accepted abroad, UPS Rail attacked Sir Paul, and the two became locked in mortal combat for control of the access to the NPO boards. www.cineclub.de/images/fight_club4.jpg[/img]UPS Rail about to beat the crap out of Sir Paul In desperation, Sir Paul shot himself in the head, and received an exit wound through the check, blowing out most of his teeth. Fortunately for Sir Paul, he managed to kill UPS Rail before he became the NPO-hating delegate, keeping the world safe for the NPO, and illegal boxing enthusiasts everywhere.
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Post by CaerRialis on Jul 13, 2004 10:16:19 GMT -5
Glad you survived the shooting, Sir Paul
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Post by KingmanReef on Jul 20, 2004 13:49:39 GMT -5
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 7, 2004 15:44:35 GMT -5
New Pacific Order Blamed for Everything [/size] One Flag to rule them all. Governments under the control of the NPO.Capital City, The Pacific: Here in the shadow of the grand statue of Francos Spain, one is awed by the enormous power that this individual holds. According to various respectable governments around nationstates, the Pacific has been behind every major invasion attempt and griefing for the last 11 months. Since coming to power, the NPO has successfully seized control of The North Pacific, attacked several ADN states, undermined the West Pacific democracy, infiltrated NBC and corrupted their reporters, pillaged the town of La Mancha, raped the horses and rode off on the women, greifed North Pacific, invaded the CDI, started the Irish War, hypnotized Loop into becoming a mindless NPO zombie, and legalized the killing and eating of babies. Despite the fact that the NPO has no standing army, their citizen minutemen are so many and versatile that they are able to invade no less that three regions at once. If the NPO isn’t putting troops on the ground, they are puppet masterminds behind every evil action in the world. To counter this threat, recently elected ADN defense minister Crazy Girl announced that conquering the Pacific was her first priority. “They invaded and deleted my home region of the Young World. They also corrupted moderators to give them and their allies’ favorable rulings. The only way to win is to beat them back with our own questionable methods!” The method she is referring to is Pre-Endorsement, when one or two people control hundreds of UN nations with their owners consent. This tactic, though illegal according to the FAQ, has been ruled legit, and is expected to be used against the Pacific. Despite international consensus to the contrary, NPO leaders suggest that governments use the NPO as a scapegoat when their own policies have failed to prop up their broken and flawed dictatorship. Senator Unlimited commented that “If anyone in the world says ‘Help! The NPO is attacking us!’ then defenders will rush to their aid. Never mind fact checking to see if it’s the last ditch effort of a tinpot dictator hiding behind a façade of democracy, desperately needing an endorsement boost.” The latest of these tactics was when a certain West Pacific delegate who claimed he was loosing an election because NPO nations were swarming in to tip the tide of endorsement. This was later proven untrue, but just to be safe, it was assumed that it COULD happen, so the ADN will guard the West Pacific indefinitely. When confronted about why the NPO got involved in The North Pacific, Senator Sir Paul replied “The NPO was at war with the former/current government. When the constitutionalist were overthrown and ALSO reached us asking for help, we jumped at the opportunity to open relations with this friendly government and end the North Pacifican threat.” NPO intelligence suggested that despite the NP’s emissaries, the NP was working hard to overthrow the NPO, and government officials have promised to post definitive information and proof regarding the conflict in the North Pacific within one week. “Hopefully, the world will see that our incursion into the North Pacific was a defensive tactic to aid an ally and thwart a hostile enemy. Soon, the people will see what ‘true democracy’ is under an ADN regime.” The NPO and the ADN have always been at each other’s throats, and a new treaty organization is being formed. The Anti-ADN block will be named the Union of Sovereigns Alliance, and the charter is in the final stages of approval. Regions such as the NPO, USSR, and New Sparrow are currently voting, and will bring a strong diversity to this new organization to balance out the evil of the ADN.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 10, 2004 12:18:42 GMT -5
(Here is something that I posted at NBC) ----------- Pacific Safe From ADN Agressors[/b] ADN shows true colorsAn Open Letter to the NS CommunityI believe Thel D'ran said it best with [img src="http://67.18.37.18/1101/59/emo/defenders_rok[1].gif"] As many of you are no doubt aware, FS had a personal trajedy and we were invaded. Despite the fact that Posk was grieving, he was able to return and protect the region. The ADN's motto is "With Strength and Honor." The ADN showed much honor when they bravely went into the region and endorsed the 5 days inactive Posk. They showed enourmous strength when they violated the ADN-Meritocracy agreement on justified war. They exibited valor as they expressed sorrow for our loss, and then had their own news service annouce that they are invading and cheating. I salute the ADN for its creative tactics and solid character. This Alliance Defense Network has has come along way from its roots as a defender orginization. After saving the world, they felt it necessary to play in the sandbox (created for the invaders), and finally, to become worse griefers than the invaders they claim to loath. I'd like to thank the loyal Pacificans, the signatories of the US Alliance, the USSR and New Sparrow, for their unwavering support during this trying time, along with all other nations who helped to check ADN aggression. Senator Sir Paul New Pacific Order -------------------- REMINDER: Please, post all comments to tabloids in the Response to Tabloids thread.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 15, 2004 7:23:53 GMT -5
New Forums Under Construction[/b] Bob Ramirez (left) and Pedro Jones (right) rush to finish the job by August 28Capital City, The Pacific: The sound of jack hammers and pile drivers are nothing new to this flourishing city, but never in its history has such a large undertaking occurred in such a short time span. The government of the Pacific is getting a new home. With all hands rushing to get the job done for the one year anniversary of the August Revolution, the government has pulled manpower from other projects to ensure that this will be completed. Chief architect Mammothistan stated that “Many citizens of the NPO have noticed that their government is on a bit of hiatus, but they see the new capital, they will forgive us.” Fortunately for the NPO, the citizenry has managed without the overbearing presence of the government. Without forum admins, the citizens have managed to post civilly and in the proper place. They have also made suggestions and had frank discussions as to what their new government will look like. Senator Black Adder noted that “the new government will have a place for everyone who wishes to be involved. The provinces will be re-organized, the senate will be re-organized, and fresh blood will be injected into every level of our organization.” Even ADN spies are excited about the changes. Nem remarked that “this is a vital opportunity in our campaign of world domination to get our people into the NPO.” Fortunately for the ADN, several janitorial positions have opened up for them to fill, and the government is excited in having ADN officials help to rebuild what they, only a few days earlier, tried to destroy.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 15, 2004 12:51:52 GMT -5
Warrior Thorin “Improves” Relations with LadyRebels[/b] expn.go.com/media/wxg/viii/030106_gretchen01_v.jpg[/img]LadyRebels switching from the hot tub to the ice bathNorthern Isles, the Pacific – In a warm hot tub in a frozen wasteland, the political climate of Nationstates was heating up. In a display of affection not seen since the 10 day Meritocracy party, the Queen of LadyRebels, former delegate of the South Pacific, was seen in a compromising position with NPO centurian Warrior Thorin. Actually, it appeared that it was Thorin who was being compromised, but the complete details will only be known to the two. Pacificans rejoiced when they learned of the incident. Sarda reconned that “it’s a good thing that TSP and the NPO are growing closer together. It shows that the icy barriers to peace can be melted with the fires of *censored*.” Thorin was unable to comment, as he was still recovering from the incident at the time of this writing, but Loop, Delegate of the EP and LadyRebels sex slave, was able to. “LR and I have always had an open relationship. She can go and do whatever she wants, but I always know she’s coming home to me.” It’s touching to see that with all the hate in the world, love and hormones still exist. For more photos of LadyRebels, please turn to Page 3 of The Sun.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 16, 2004 12:08:58 GMT -5
Pierconium Appointed Interim High Judge of the Pacific www.starcostumes.com/prodimages/PA5106.jpg [/img] Pierconium, ready for actionEdinburgh Castle, Unlimited – After a brief confirmation and swearing ceremony, the people of the Pacific have a new high judge, Pierconium. Since the resignation of the first judge, Poskrebyshev, the backlog of cases filled the courts, and something needed to be done. Unlimited announced that “Pierconium has been a diligent member of the New Pacific Order, and we expect good things from him. This appointment is but a taste of the changes and promotions that will be occurring in the near future.” Pierconium’s commission will last until a new senator of justice can be appointed, which is expected to occur on the 28th of August.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 16, 2004 21:41:35 GMT -5
Warrior Thorin to be Interim District Attorney of the Pacific[/b] Thorin, with his buster sword of justice, is too cool for colorThorin’s Hot Tub, The Pacific: As a drunken boast, Senator Sir Paul, growing weary of Pacifican decency laws, appointed Warrior Thorin as Interim District Attorney of the Pacific. His job duties will be to prosecute those nations who are ejected in violation of civil code and then appeal their ejections. Most ejections occur due to the violation of civil code 1008, objectionable name, motto, or currency. Several females have been using their feminine wiles to radically shift the tone of the Pacific, turning the upstanding, intelligent men into erotic driven sex fiends. As such, the level of RP has reached a level never before seen in the Pacific. LadyRebels, chief culprit, has left her mark here before, most notably at the 10 day Meritocractic party, when a drunken senator used hedge clippers on Abysseria’s hedge maze. When asked if he would accept the appointment, Thorin remarked “Sir Paul, I'll be happy to prosecute the bastards. I might get distracted from time to time though.” Well, one thing is sure, only the truly obscene nation names will be removed from the Pacific. Like Pierconium, Warrior Thorin's comission expires when a new senator of justice is appointed.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 18, 2004 12:37:28 GMT -5
Is NBC a Propaganda Machine for the North Pacific? Anchorman Brock Smith, with his wife, admits that he is a North Pacifican.NBC, The North Pacific: In a shocking announcement, editor in chief for the Nationstates Broadcasting Company, long considered one of the last unbiased news sources, has admitted that he is a “North Pacifican Newsman.” He went on to note that “Despite my connections with certain regions and alliances, and my desire to start a defending/invading army, my objectivity can not be called into question.” During the startling announcement, his wife, Mrs. Smith, stood by her husband with resolve. “While this will change our relationship, I will stand by my man, for better or for worse.” For one thing, she will be changing her married name from Smith to Franken. The children’s last names will remain the same. Pacificans had mixed reactions to the news. Sedarva promptly went to NBC studios and demanded a position of authority in the organization. “The smaller nations of Nationstates are not given the voice they deserve, and thus, I should be given an office.” When it was pointed out that NBC commonly does a “random player interview,” Sedarva countered that he hadn’t been interviewed yet. Check and Mate, Franken! Pierconium reacted strongly to the announcement. “Spies! I knew they were spies!” Other nations had a more sedate approach. Black Nahn noted that “this is the liberal bias that we are constantly against in the main stream media. The only true source of fair and balanced information is the Pacific Press, where we report, and you decide.” So, is NBC a propaganda machine for the North Pacific, sworn enemies of the New Pacific Order? We have reported, and now you decide! Current Poll: Is NBC a Propaganda Machine for the North Pacific? Yes: 1%No: 102%margin of error: +/- 3%
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 18, 2004 21:35:41 GMT -5
The Flame is ExtinguishedInfernoIce Retires from Nationstates9th District, The Pacific: In another senatorial snafu, InfernoIce, Senator of the Pacific, has ceased to exist. Last seen near the top of the UN rankings, his nation has slipped into oblivion. This is the third senator in as many weeks to leave the game, and yet the NPO is as strong as ever. Delegate Unlimited announced that despite the loss, the NPO has been planning for this event, and a contingency plan 134B will be enacted. As InfernoIce’s duties involved some of the seeder aspects of the empire to keep utopia going, his job duties will be abolished in keeping with the spirit of the reform. As such, slavery, torture, and culture will be outlawed. Pacificans are unsure that they can bear more bad news, as they are fresh off of the loss of Francos Spain and Poskrebyshev. It is unclear whether the ADN will attack with one less senator serving the people, but the Pacific is taking no chances. The invasion alert will be raised from harvest peach to fuchsia.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 19, 2004 15:13:20 GMT -5
United Democratic Pacific’s Treaty Ratified[/b] The home of the UDP TreatyHall of Doom, West Pacific: Deep within the dark cavern of this aquatic lair, the enemies of the Pacific conspire as to how they can topple the noble regime. Now, the two ADN provinces left in the Pacific (the North and West) have convinced the neutral South Pacific to enter into their clutches. It is expected that West Pacific Foreign Minister and ADN lacky Dilber has developed a hypno-ray that has warped the minds of the neutral south, and they have entered into their Bizarro Union (not to be confused with the Union of Sovereigns). Thel D’ran insists that the UDP (henceforth to be referred to as the Legion of Doom to prevent confusion) is merely a defensive organization where all parties will give aid in the event of an attack. Should any member of the Legion be attacked, all other members will rush to its aid. When asked if the Legion of Doom would be used to extend ADN control into the South Pacific, Pope Hope announced that “The South Pacific will remain free…For me to Recruit From! Ah HA HA Ha ha!” The Pacific, always number one in intel gathering, was able to sneak an agent into the meeting and came back with these photos. The Legion of Doom Top Row, left to right (North Pacific): Thel D’ran, Nem, Blackshear, Ananke. Middle Row, (West Pacific): Minineenee, Biteland, Berhampore, Dilber. Bottom Row, (South Pacific): The Shaft, LadyRebels, Geomania, htz3.Fortunately for the Pacific, a new forum is being created to protect the innocent people of the Pacific from this deadly onslaught. The Hall of Justice is nearing completion, and will be the base of operation for the Union of Sovereigns. Spirits are high, as the side of truth and justice will always be on the side of the Pacific.
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Sir Paul
Senator / Director of the Pacific Press
This is PNN
Posts: 617
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Post by Sir Paul on Aug 21, 2004 9:07:51 GMT -5
Scientest Make Startling Discovery[/b] Theorist working hard on a surprising new theoryDoppelganger, The Pacific: In a startling discovery that shocked nationstates, theoreticians from Doppelganger made a surprising revelation: Nationstates is a game! Apparently, this entire world in which we live is like a giant game of Sorry, where people jump on other people, send their pieces back to start, or play nice and intentionally miss other people. As such, if someone was to send your man back to start, you wouldn’t wish them ill will in real life, would you? In these trying times, it is important to know what is real and what isn’t. As such, the NPO board of Mental Health has devised a way to help others not to blur the lines of nationstates and reality. 1) If talking to people involves typing, and they don’t have a first, middle and last name, you are probably playing a game. 2) If someone’s avatar is showing, you are probably playing a game. 3) If someone repeats the same thing after they speak, it’s probably their signature, and you are probably playing a game. We have also constructed some warning signs to see if you have a problem and are forgetting what is real. If, when playing backgammon, your man gets sent to the bar, do you yell “eat shit and die!” and then proceed to violently attack them? If you had a button on your keyboard that said “kill,” and it would seriously harm the player on the other side of the screen, would you press that button? Do you confuse gameplay tactics with real life cruelty? Does this picture remind you of a situation you’ve been in when you have been playing a game? If you answered yes to any of the above, please, get professional help. If you live in the United States, the counties are required to give mental health to the indigent, and if you live in Europe, you live in abject socialism, so there is no reason you can’t get help. You have to understand that there is no reason to wish ill will toward a person because of the way they play a game, and there are several organizations that can help you and have experience in letting you know it’s just a game, and you’re losing. Boston Red Sox Fan Club and Support GroupChicago Cubs Crisis Hotline Elgin City Reassurance SiteHull City rage aversion center----------- Relevent Link
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